Turning a 100% USDA certified geek loose in an place like Best Buy is a recipe for trouble. As I'm running around, I'm constantly on the look out for security cameras and undercover's because old habits die hard. I'd hate for these individuals who have painfully boring jobs to not at least have some form of entertainment. Aren't i considerate of my fellow humans?
As soon as I walked in the main door my A.D.D. kicked in. So many bright shiny objects to look at. Do i look at software? TV's? Computers? Games? Mp3 players? Car audio? Focus damn it! The mission is to look for a monitor. Must... walk... towards... monitors. Resistance is futile.
Success. We were in the very back of the store and looking at their woefully pathetic selection of monitors. I managed to stay away from every other section of the store. Some would say this is a miracle. I consider this merely delaying the inevitable. We were by the monitors for less than a minute when my buddy points out the end display of RAM. The prices were pretty painful. I should note that i didn't make note of the stats of the RAM, or speed, and only vaguely remember basic prices. What i can tell you is that it wasn't anything out of the ordinary and the prices were in the $80-$120 range. Their prices are obscene to say the least which is when i started laughing. How bad are prices? Compare the same identical RAM from NewEgg.com and BestBuy.com. THAT's why i started laughing.
Immediately we're approached by a blue shirt Best Buy rep asking if we need any help to which we gracefully decline. Seemed like a nice enough person and wasn't annoying. He dodged a real bullet with us! As we're trying to determine the difference between an LG and Samsung monitor of similar prices, we see some late teen "kid" staring at the RAM behind us. Whatever. Eventually some blond girl comes over in a black Geek Squad shirt with him.
Ladies and gentlemen, the anti-christ has arrived on the seen. Do i opt to be a jerk and butt in and make her look bad? Do i try to get her number? Do i try hitting her up for a job? Bah. I'm not in the mood for these mere mortal games. I let her do her thing. So here we are looking at monitors (and making random customers nervous by how we're just flipping them upside down and giggling about how one of them beeps) and at the same time eavesdropping on "blondey" explaining to the "kid"what the difference between DDR and DDR2. W O W. I would have sworn the "kid" was a 6 year old the way she was talking to him. Maybe i shouldn't be surprised because most of the patrons don't know sqwat and need someone to give them a crash course in what i take for granted every day.
The LG was picked out after we decided that hunting down a sales rep was pointless. Target acquired. Mission accomplished, right? Not even close! Now we had to run the gauntlet of going towards the cashiers. Helllllloooooo ADD!!!
Right by the Geek Squad station we found 4-5 HP and Dell machines. The HP's have a sliding door on the front for you to insert external HD's etc. The size and placement of them in front was a perfect setup for lewd comments. Some of those comments may have included: "would it be cybersex if i stuck it in that hole", "I want to molest this one because it looks like a dirty whore", and "this is just down right retarded". From there we pretty much zig zagged around the store acting like rats lost in a maze to an outside observer when in reality ADD was in full effect.
FINALLY we were near the cashiers. I had a hunch that people were aware of our presence and the thought had crossed my mind that we might in fact get booted out for our lewd comments and general stupidity. Right by the row of cashiers was a sign. A picture truly is worth a thousand words and this one spoke to me.
Wow. Despite my constant instability with finding a job, i have never even considered selling my soul to these people. Not knowing what they get paid, i now have concrete evidence of just how obscene their prices are. They get $50 for "networking consultation"? Does that mean i tell you to buy a router when you have more than one machine that you want online? They charge $30 for "optimization"? WTF is that all about? Does that mean they go and take your new Dell machine and uninstall all of the excessive garbage that comes with it out of the box? They want $60 for diagnostic and $200 for both diagnostic AND repair? 
I know for a fact i had a few strange looks at me when i was taking a picture of this sign but it was too good to be true. I'm still floored by this. Wow.
What bothers me the most is that i have people preaching to me about how i should take any job that comes up. Even if it's Geek Squad. Any money is better than none supposedly. To that, i say bull shit. I have a soul and a conscience. I'll not sacrifice what few morals i have in order to pursue the money to pay my bills.
Anyways, we left Best Buy with a VERY nice 22" LG wides screen monitor. It cost enough but it's a damn fine piece of technology and i'm sure he'll be happy for years to come with it (until i get something bigger and better). I had a lot of fun just being a total joker in the store and i'm quite thankful that i haven't gotten kicked out yet. Everyone needs goals in their lives. Mine is to get kicked out of Best Buy. I regret to inform you that i have failed once again at attaining my goal. Have no fear for "I'll be back!"
