McAfee on-access scan logs show:
12/26/2012 09:46:51 AM Not scanned (scan timed out) C:\WINDOWS\system32\spool\drivers\w32x86\3\hpchl130.cab none (Virus)
It took me an hour of bouncing ideas off of my coworker to come up with ruling out McAfee. As soon as i checked the logs I knew something was up. Eventually found this blog which confirmed that someone else has had this issue.
http://www.mondaiji.com/blog/other/it/10150-hp-universal-print-driver-slow-opening-print-settings
Now it's just a matter of remembering how to do an exception within McAfee using a wild card correctly. Not exactly rocket science but annoying when you haven't done one in 5 years.
https://kc.mcafee.com/corporate/index?page=content&id=KB50998
This lead me to creating the following exclusion:
There you go. Problem resolved. This is for a one-off user so not going to look into doing this via ePO but I doubt it would be that difficult to roll out.