I was recently contacted by yet another head hunter. Phone contact went well and i got the honor of going to meet the guy face to face. As i think back on this experience, i can't help but laugh. I laugh and shake my head at the same time.
The head hunter i met admitted right away that he knew next to nothing about computers and "is happy when it just works". Oh great. How am i supposed to tell this guy that i'm a viable candidate when he doesn't know wtf i'm even talking about?
I knew i was in for a world of pain just based on the job description. Here are some highlights:
IT Network Technician
Duties:
5. Provide user training, including e-mail, Outlook, MS Word, MS Excel, Company internal programs and general Windows 95/98.
7. Present professional image at all times.
8. Follow procedures and rules in company employee manual.
9. Communicate effectively, both written and verbal.
10. Demonstrate professional attitude when approaching work assignments.
11. Promote positive, self-motivated atmosphere, promoting a team environment.
12. Maintain helpful, friendly attitude while always keeping internal and external customer service in mind.
Specifications:
2. Possess high level of self-motivation.
Physical/Mental Requirements:
1. Prolonged sitting.
2. Extended periods of computer use and keyboarding.
4. Understanding vague and implicit instructions.
5. Emotional stability and personal maturity.
For the love of all that is holy, what kind of person are they looking for??? The head hunter and i are hoping that the windoze 95/98 is a mistake!!! What little technical stuff they have listed relates to desktop support and NOT networking. Why for he love of Xenu is this listed as an IT Network Technician? Imagine what a Cisco-guru would say if they saw this description!
So when i met the head hunter the other day, i pretty much destroyed him. Poor guy. He had no idea what hit him. After about 5 minutes of me asking for more specifics followed by "i don't know" i threw in the towel. I came out swinging and wound up squaring off with the equipment manager of the grade school kick ball team. It was bad. Poor guy looked like a deer in headlights when i got on a tangent about the pros and cons of open source solutions vs the standard M$ suite of headaches. At least he didn't pull out the generic 5 questions that they seem to ALWAYS ask. "How much experience do you have with TCP/IP?" On more than one occasion i've laughed out loud on the phone when they ask that one because of how vague it is and they have NEVER been able to elaborate.
After a couple minutes of him turning pale and having a blank expression on his face i brought the conversation back to something that he can understand. Soft skills they call them. The job description is essentially looking for someone who can spell IBM and can play nicely with others. Personal maturity... yeah count me out right there! ;) I eventually took pity on the guy because he normally staffs skilled tradesmen and similar people. I took the time to explain a few concepts with examples so he could begin to grasp what i was saying. For example, when i mentioned open source he said he had no idea. I mentioned Firefox and all of a sudden he now has something familiar to him that he can relate to. *Sigh*
When i walked out of the meeting/interview/whatever, i was grinning from ear to ear. I know he's going to get me an interview with this company. I know i'm going to go to the interview and come out swinging which is what i do best. I'm going to sell myself and not short change my knowledge. I'm going to get turned down for someone who is cheaper and less experienced because they're going to view me as someone who will want to reinvent the wheel. I'm comfortable with this. They are going to say they want experience but they really want someone they can mold into their backwards and half-assed ways. Thus i will continue my current run of being "professionally unemployed". :)
*Sigh* (again)
I guess you had to be there....
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