Born Again Idiot

I feel as though I'm a living music video these days. The song is Born Again Idiot by Anthrax.

Why do I explain myself when everyone's an idiot but me?

Every day I'm surrounded by those that don't listen. I try to point out the obvious and they opt to not listen to me. When the floor of your living room i sagging significantly, is that not a sign that you should have that looked at soon? If you're having swelling as a result of a drastic medication change that your doctor prescribed AND you don't feel you can talk to the doctor in the first place, is this not the time to switch doctors? If everyone around you tells you that you're making a bad decision, is that not a sign that you should at least reevaluate your decision? If you take your car to a mechanic and he says he's fixed the reason why it shuts off after 10 minutes, do you turn around and ask him if he had the car running for 10 minutes to ensure it doesn't still happen?

Kicking and screaming and dragged back into a life
Kicking and screaming and dragged back into a life
Like ten pounds in a nine pound bag
Still I come back to give you something that you never had

It's not that I'm professing to be perfect. I have a nasty habit of being right a lot of times specifically because i constantly analyze situations and look for warning signs. It's not up to me as to how people live their lives. All i try to do is give my input and it seems that more often than not people ignore what is blindingly obvious.

Idiot rules, I never fight I only win

Idiot rules, and I didn't make them

What's the point anymore? Seriously. I can't possibly know what I'm talking about. Since i don't have a "real" job, i apparently don't know what I'm talking about. Because i have a grunt BS job, i get looked down at by older full time employees because "clearly if you knew what you were doing you wouldn't be here". Because I'm perma-single i can't possibly know anything about relationships. It's futile to try to educate those that refuse to listen. I'm tired of my words falling on deaf ears.

Finish my smoke, down my drink, wipe my mouth and I just walk away

I love this line. If my life were this music video, right here is where i would get up from the bar stool and walk away with my hands up in the air while mouthing the words "F**k it". Surrendering to the idiots that surround me and letting them exist in their empty lives with blinders on.

What's the chance of finding something real and make it last
For that I'd carry all my bags and leave them in the past
Because I spend my life fixing mistakes that left me scarred
And when I stand and meet my maker, I'll be born again hard

Well put. What i wouldn't give for someone to actually listen once in a while so i know that i'm not wasting my breath. My motives are pure. My delivery is a little harsh but that's the only way that anyone listens it seems. No matter how straightforward you are, most people just don't get it.

Why do I explain myself when everyone's an idiot but me?

Idiot rules, I never fight I only win
Idiot rules, idiot rules
Idiot rules, and I didn't make them
Idiot rules, idiot rules
Idiot rules, I never fight I only win
Idiot rules, idiot rules
Idiot rules, don't judge me by my sins
Idiot rules, I never bend, I only break them

Yeah some of the lyrics were edited out. So what. Isn't that how it always is? We latch onto segments songs/poems/speeches and rarely keep it in context. It's a human element. We latch onto those elements which we believe to be the closest to our hearts and embrace the words as though they were our own. No song can truly explain what i'm going through. It's this very reason why writers continue to write every day to best describe what is in their head.

My point was that i'm tired. Tired of wasting my effort on people who won't consider my words. Tired of wasting time trying to help those that don't want to help themselves. Tired of trying to show others an outside and unbiased perspective. Seclusion draws me in more and more day by day. Tired of putting up the good fight to keep my head above water in a turbulent sea.

In a round about way, this is something that goes through my head when interviewing. I'm tired of trying to explain to people who are blinded by their ideas of interview etiquette that there is more to me than what they see on a piece of paper. How do you explain to someone that irregardless of your documented history, you're much better than a piece of paper with past accomplishments? More often than not, i walk out of interviews believing that i just wasted my time on people who are both blind and deaf. The irony is that they may be blind and deaf to me but they're still the ones with the money while i'm not. :(

Time to get ready for another night of mind numbing work for minimal money....