You'd think that while being unemployed now I'd have lots of time to blog and spew my semi-coherent thoughts onto the interwebz. Then you lok at my posting history this month and realize something is missing.
The adjustment to this amount of free time is hard for someone like me who needs structure of stuff going on. I spend a lot of time trying to find things to queue up to do so that i can just be "busy" for a while. This consists of everything from working on a computer, to going for a walk or bike ride, or playing obnoxious amounts of Star Craft. In between all of that excitement I've been teaming up with a friend trying to come up with the next big business idea that will make me rich. Of course these plans won't get off the ground but they seem to have some real potential. Nothing like getting a Philosophy graduate to help you think outside the box!
I think part of what's keeping me from posting lately is i'm afraid to think too deeply these days for fear of shaking my blind confidence and hopes of finding a job again. If i focus in on what's going on around me and the reality i'm going to have to face in the coming months, it's damn scary. The last thing i need to do is get scared or even nervous because my confidence will be shaken when i interview and it's all down hill from there. The best way to prevent that is to just ignore the obvious as long as i can.
Is this a cop out? Maybe i'm in denial. Perhapse i'm subconsciously setting myself up to fail. Can it just be as simple as trying to keep my chin up like everyone tells me to? Do i even believe anymore? Is this the right time to start reevaluating "faith" in general?
See? There's still plenty bouncing around inside the ole skull!!!
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