Slowing Down

I have no job. I quit my job a month ago because i was burnt out, strung out, wiped out, and mentally drained. I have no regrets. The end.

Life has slowed down for me these days. There is some pretty annoying construction that i have to deal with whenever i want to go anywhere on the freeway. I see people swerving in and out of lanes while jockeying for a better spot only to come to a halt again. I am the asshole who goes slower when there's a growing gap between myself and the cars ahead of me. No point in rushing when we're going to slam on our brakes after this bend and cause even more panic breaking. I coast at a leisure pace through it all and pull up alongside of those that passed me earlier and keep on coasting through. Barely tapping the brakes. The traffic doesn't bother me because i know it's there, there's no way to avoid it, and I'm in no rush.

Approximately 10 minutes north of me and through a couple of suburbs is where a friend of mine lives. Gas is hovering around $4/gallon and i have only my savings. I walk there. It takes approximately 50 minutes one way to walk there at a steady pace. The walk is calming. Never realized some of the little things I see on stretches of road I've gone down all of my life. Never realized that some boring looking apartment complex with dark red bricks and very bright white trim has an indoor pool. I forgot that my feet can actually be tender and my legs can be slightly sore from walking that much.

According to the calendar the season is supposed to be spring. On occasion the weather actually resembles that.

I've found myself being more polite than usual when out in public. Letting people cut in line at the grocery store. Holding the door for someone who is more than 2 steps behind me and more like 10 steps behind. I've got time and I'm in no rush.

As i reflect more and more i feel as though i recently woke up from a long sleep. I feel as though i dreamt the past couple of years of my life while not knowing when exactly it was that i slipped off into this dream world. The fog is lifting day by day. I don't know who i am anymore but I'm liking where this is going. Income is a looming concern of mine but I'm fighting constantly with it to keep it very much a secondary concern.

I have no job. I quit my job a month ago because i was burnt out, strung out, wiped out, and emotionally drained. I refuse to allow myself to have any regrets. This is the beginning.